So what is it about some of us (when I say ‘us’ I mean me) that we struggle to let some things go?
Well, I know for me, often once I have let something go, aside from the relief, I wonder to myself “well, what was so hard about that, should have done it ages ago”. But maybe sometimes it isn’t a case of letting something go and learning from it. Moreso it is about realising that there is something is in your life that shouldn’t be there. Something that does you no good. In fact, it may be something downright damaging.
Right, it is time to put my money where my mouth is so to speak. It’s great interviewing fascinating people (as I certainly hope to carry on doing), but maybe it is time to share a little about me (deep breath).
The tattoo I am talking about today followed a light bulb experience I had when I came to the realise that I had allowed fear to run riot in my life in a number of ways. The thing about fear is it is insidious. It often masquerades in other guises that are not as obvious as you would think and can eat away at your life in harmful ways. Physically, mentally and spiritually. The bible does not say “do not fear” 365 times for nothing. Fear can produce some disastrous effects in your life if you open the door to it. Anxiety, stress, illness all can be attributed as side effects of fear.
In looking at my life and chatting with those close to me I came to see that I had allowed this destroyer to take root. In the way I thought about myself and sometimes others, the way I talked, my expectations…. and I began to see that they are all quite closely linked up. I know that I was not made to live this way and this prompted me to give myself a reminder of my inner cognizance and what I wanted to go on to achieve having seen it. To live my life to the fullest and be the best me I can be.
The artwork I have had most recently was an unintentional collaboration. I visited a local artist, Gerda Swanepoel, to start me off on this project and started out just with the a word and some feathered friends on my forearm. After this, I couldn’t stop thinking about adding some more colour. The idea grew further when I happened upon a cancer survivor, Liesl. I realised while chatting across Twitter that she is a cancer survivor, ink fan and one spunky lady. That kind of courage inspires me and fanned the creative coals into flame. This grew as my understanding of my revelation expanded. So, my tattoo’s are most certainly a part of my story and being an aesthetic kind of girl, I sometimes like to put my reminders on the outside of me so I can see them (I guess I am kind of like a fridge that way 🙂 ).
The inspiration for the design came from Psalm 27:1. Along with some pretty amazing friends that I have (hopefully you know who you are), this was something I needed to feel and see. So off I headed to Arbitrary Tattoos after chatting some to Jay. I laughed at first when he told me that my ink’age’ would take roughly four hours. Only to realise he was serious (sometimes its hard to tell with people). Thankfully I had my growing ‘ink crew’ (shout out) around to keep the chatter up while Jay freehanded his design on my forearm.
The colour design was conceptualised as a watercolour and as it was applied stroke by stroke, the idea I had been dreaming of started to come to life. It was like watching a Disney movie begin to unfold. Strokes of colour flowed across my forearm and I found it difficult not to keep looking at it. So I opted to chat with friends (love you, thank you for sitting for four hours with me), ate liquorice and occasionally grimaced (So for those that wonder, “Is it sore?”. Simply put. Yes. It is. #thatsallIhavetosayaboutthat).
A few wee hours later, my new artwork is in living colour.
I can now enjoy my reminder and walk in the knowledge that it will be hard to forget. To Live Fearless. Not because I think I can do things all on my own. Not because I don’t need people. Not even because I think I am strong. None of these reasons. I am made for something different.
It is a reminder for me.